Buh-Bye Ya Big Baby!
Well, the Big Ham Event's little War of the Worlds was over quicker than a common cold. Bad enough that Amazing Colossal Martian Sweetie Pie didn't get his amazing colossal cranky baby way in the flea market, but worse, poor thing was splashed by a few raindrops and he began to melt! Tsk-tsk. Don't let the Van Allen belt burn your butt on the way out, droopy drawers!
Puny Earthling Ham Radio marches on, undaunted, with a fresh start under its Sans-a-Belt and devil take the hindmost. All right!
Safe trip home all from me and Dash! The Stay-at-Home Hams!
The Amazing Colossal Ham from Mars is about to address the 2017 Ham Big Event. Will he offer Hamkind a way out from eternal strife, struggle and want and need for just one more New One? Or will he find something about which to complain?
Let's see. Amateur radio operator, an amazing colossal one at that. What are the chances he's peevish, short-tempered, skeptical of all positive hammin' motivatons because he has a stack of moldy Popular Electronics back numbers for a heart?
THIS JUST IN...
While early reports are sketchy, conflicting and sure to spread panic, Dash!Reports decided it was in our self-interest to post this terrifying visual of what may continue to be an apocryphally apocalyptically ongoing situation at the 2017 Big Ham Event.
Security guards first spotted the amazing colossal ham at dawn, wandering aimlessly, apparently looking for bratwurst stand to eat, but finding none open, settled for a nice new John Deere riding mower parked out behind the big building where they judge the cattle and summer squash.
Thus far, nothing seems to faze what untrained observers have characterized as an 80-foot HT-toting ham clutching a donut with a diameter approaching that of a halfwave on twenty meters. Military intelligence officials on the scene urge caution at hasty judgements about the toroidal shape, suggesting it may be part of the creature's hand that only resembles a donut. They promise to check with the DIA, CIA, NSA, FBI and MSNBC for clarification.
Dash!Reports pledges to stay on this story like a mustard stain on one of our swell T-shirts, which are washable, BTW, whether they need it not.
You're having a wonderful time, we wish we were there.
Still, this stay-at-home hambone can enjoy a certain sense of participation with ham graphics clients like these exhibiting, meeting, greeting, speaking and providing on-the-spot coverage of US ham radio's big event at the Hamvention's new Xenia location.
I know a bunch of our QSL customers and previous Dayton partners in ham hijinx are gonna be making the rounds, so let the good times roll OMs and YLs!
Maybe we'll have a little spree for ourselves at our town pizza shop and settle in for a good sulk.
Yup, too late for theHamvention, but why not order now for something to look forward to after what happened in Dayton/Xenia stays there and you come trudging home with a semi-cherry Benton Harbor Lunchbox, one or two Twinkies shy of a viable radio?
Every Hamvention present to yourself deserves a chaser.
You can still lord this puppy over the gang at hamfests and club meetings. Flaunt your Official Xenia 2017 Dash!Tee and we'll never tell you didn't wear it running with the big dogs. In fact, if you don't go at all you can still put on our pooch, we don't stand by ceremony, no Dashtoons investigators will probably call. But if they do, make sure you ask to see their badges before letting them in your shack.
Ham Boss Claims Mars!
Rfchokian Big Boss claims Mars for all Hamkind. Not for stinky HyperRichBoychiks Elon "Hai Karate"Musk or squirrely Jeff "Bookworm"Bezos , but real regular hams seeking Best DX Luxury for themselves and their families. Game over Buddy BoyChiks!
Exclusive video via Voice of Rfchokia Short Wave TV captures the historic ham radio moment April 21st, 2017 with good beat, easy to dance music Dashtoons' properly licensed, this ain't no foolin' around, from Sounddogs.com of Marina Del Ray California, our go-to source of production beds and SFX. Recommended!
B-b-boy & girlchiks, you ain't seen 'nor heard nothin' yet.
Baba Yagi Radiosportronics' CEO Almighty Vlad has announed the soft landing of his BY1 Chicken-Legged Ham Shack/Planetary Rover. In his dual capacity as Maximum President of Rfchokia, A.Vlad staked his breakaway republic's claim to exclusive time share DX shack development rights, egging the faces of space moguls Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos who Vlad alleges are now "Sobbing like puny American babies with loaded diapers."
Almighty Vlad also thumbed his nose at new American President Donald Trump, who recently vowed to have astronauts on the Martian surface before the end of his term or he'll eat a piece of chocolate as cake big as Alaska and another Texas.
"Why bother Poor Little RichBoychik? "chortled Vlad. "Victorious Rfchokian hams already beat you and Musk and Bezos like cranky red planet stepchildren!"
Just who or what is aboard this unconventional, reputedly hammed spacecraft shack remains unknown, but as events unfold, you can be sure Dashtoons and Voice of Rfchokia World Wide Shortwave Television will combine resources to bring you the very latest.
They thought they were so big.
Maxi-monied space moguls Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are on the brink of total hamiliation after Baba Yagi Radiosportronics CEO Almighty Vlad announced acquistion of Mars orbit by his Planetary Mobile Ham Shack BY1.
The revolutionary spacecraft / ham habitat is expected to make a soft landing on the surface of Mars within days and in short order begin providing Earth ops with the ultimate New One.
"Eat sands of Mars, Failure Twins!" chortled Vlad, dual Maximum President of both Baba Yagi and the breakaway republic of Rfchokia, fomerly known as South Pottsylvania before the tyrannical ham equipment manufacturer began stealing market share with his hand-hewn coal-fired 20 megawatt linear amplifier/samovars and ploughing his profits back into a secret space program, culminating in the first hammed mission to Mars.
Prior to this startling technological coup, Bezos and Musk were counting their hyperluxurious time share Martian condo/bolt hole/spa chickens before they hatched, confident their rockets would reach the Red Planet in plenty of time to carve up Mars like a Trillionaire's Butterball...but not so fast!
Aside from rumors of DX timesharing and an affordable ham radio themed water park, few details have emerged about Baba Yagi's plans for Martian development beyond special event operations.
Stay tuned to Dashtoons for breaking developments as amateur radio appears on the astonishing cusp of becoming the yellow of the 21st century daisy!
Why would any 1960s kid wanna be that guy?
I'm not sure and but it looks like an illustration by QST artist Phil "Gil" Gildersleeve, here, uh,"sampled" in sixties era stock QSL art, something like my Novice card and every third new ham in those Cold War/Space Race years.
Long, long ago, it was emblematic of ham radio from what seemed to us then, long long ago. And somehow, a part of our wild mild kiddo hearts was fired by that overtly tame, very young Jimmy Stewart-ish image of ourselves, pipe in place, silhoutted in the autumnal glow of vacuum tube filaments, tuned into a wide, mad, mysterious world, a cozy domestic magic moment, strange as a having a conversation with a copy of National Geographic.
To a lot of kids then, such a scene wasn't likely so compelling. But to some of us, geez, I just don't know. Like, from what planet did these goofy notions come, and how can they linger for another sixty years?
In the 1930s, I can see this appealing to a mess of younger people.The term "Short Wave" was every bit as buzzy as "Brooklyn" and a lot of smart cookies hitched their wagons to radio's shooting star. By Telstar, the Beatles, Yuri Gagarin and John Glenn, it would seem a picture like this would be strictly Andy Hardy meets Jack Armstrong, Wheaties' all-American radio serial boy. Who are they? No matter, no mas.
Which leads me to an ancillary poser. Were YLs of a certain age drawn to this Strange Attractor? Couldn't begin to speculate, but I would love to hear YLs' side of it, especially those drawn to ham radio as kids, when many others, regardless of gender, were thinking more about bright lights big city pop culture and the explosive social/poltical events of the day.
Not to say one couldn't try to follow the whole ball of wax then. God knows, I tried. But always, I kept on ear on the low end of fourty and twenty meter CW. And when I did, and I heard the "yoop-yoop" of chirpy Eastern European signals rise up like tropical birds at jungle dawn, I felt like I was that guy, that funny little guy with a too-big head, albeit without the pipe.
PS: Tried the pipe in college, but by then, no radio. I dunno, maybe I needed to wear a sweater vest, plus fours, saddle shoes and tune a Super Skyrider to tie everything together and make it work, but nah, only in my dreams Jeeves, only in my dreams.
Fun to create this sunny Sicilian greeting for Igor IT9GQB. Lately we've had a nice collection of Mediterranean commissions, including Italy and Greece. Many lands to go!
Oh! The Hamanity
Check out Dashtoons' new page dedicated to what we've drawn so far in our capacity as K9YA Telegraph cartoonist, including panels for both Oh! The Hamanity and Hamfest of a Thousand Sorrows. Natch, you gotta subscribe to the Telegraph if you want to get 'em fresh off the drawing board, but the good news is a subscription is FREE if you sign up HERE!
PS: Who the heck is that guy? He's the cherry no damn good brother-in-law who comes with a certain Hallicrafters S-85 on sale at our Hamfest of a Thousand Sorrows. Isn't life just like a hamfest? You take the bad with the good and hope somehow you at least break even.
California fabric artist/quilter Saraj Cory, KU6F, is among our most singular custom QSL clients, here stepping out in her new custom VANS® footwear.
©2016 KU6F image used with permission
Saraj modded the design we recently created for her and uploaded the image to Vans' custom site, winding up with one wild pair of plimsoles, perhaps the first 813-powered sneakers on the planet.
What a kick! We expect most of our clients will continue to use their K1NSS custom designs primarly for QSL cards, but you never know where you might see our work running wild in the streets!
You and THIS Army!
Fussing. Fighting. Cliques and Know-It-Alls.
Had it up to here with your ham club?
That's the problem. It's not your ham club. You're not large and in charge. But with Members Only ARC, you're Maximum President For Life!
First of all, YOU my friend, are bigger than all the other members. So you say what's on the menu for Field Day. And what antennas to use. And who gets the leftover hot dog rolls.
The best thing about Members Only ARC, is you talk and nobody walks. Because these losers are stuck to little squares of plastic!
Plus all they do is talk to one another all day and night on the repeater. So top club score in Sweepstakes, CQWW, ARRL DX, every damn contest on the face of the earth is yours for the taking of a single point!
Right now, Members Only ARC in still on the drawing board.
But who knows just what might available as a free mini poster at Dayton 2017?
With extra cheese, but of course.
No Mint, No Pillow, No Problem.
Word on the air is that a new entry-level hotel will be opening just in time for the big event in a familiar neighborhood. While not yet Michelin guide-rated, Flop Band Suites is rumored to offer cut-above-the-weeds accomodations at attractive rates by slashing frills to the bone without sacrificing too much of the marrow.
Featuring firm bedding and personal privacy screens, not- recently redecorated Flop Band Suites still provide all you need for forty winks in your clothes a good two feet off the floor. You'll sleep like a baby and bounce right back in the morning, while spendthrifts in overpriced luxury motorcourts are still woozy from their complimentary fried dough breakfast and fit to be tied with their non-functioning free WIFI.
Flop Band Suites. Why pay more for someplace you're just gonna leave?
2018 Bouvet Island Dxpeditionary EME is big news among Moonbounce Boffins and stuff of dreams for us hundred watt and a dipole pluggers. We did this up for the Bouvet team not too long ago and are proud to do our little part supporting this very big DX deal.
with permission ©2017 SV1QFV
Old School MM!
Our latest K1NSS Custom commission is our first from Greece. Billy was open to something unusual so we went the good old Grecian Urn Look route, as seen through the prism of amateur radio. If that looks like Greek to you on the sail, you've got good eyes Homer! It's from that good old Greek tragedy Prometheus Bound, and makes reference to the "Holy Aether," how appropriate is that after all these years?
If you hanker for your very own one-of-a-kind QSL, see about us!
Here's the POSEIDON Transceiver we orginally drew for Billy's QSL. It proved a little too detailed once shrunk down to QSL format size, so we simplified the QSL radio and passed this gussied-up image on to SV1QFV as a extra keepsake of our collaboration.
Hams Blank Fake News
When all else failed miserably in Washington to protect the Homeland from fake news, hacked presidential elections and like really strategic Vermont electric companies, it took but a few amateur radio operators and rocketeers to solve the problem on New Year's Day, 2017.
Hamland Security Systems is the latest private space venture, but worlds away from big-budget high-flyers like SpaceX, Blue Horizon and Virgin Galactic.
From a back yard launch facility in New York's Hudson River Valley, utilizing a whole bunch of Estes rocket boosters all tied together, HSS lofted an off-the-shelf Cold War era ham radio accessory into high polar orbit, effectively placing an impenetrable electronic tinfoil helmet over every square inch of our Glorious Affordable Lovely Mother Homeland.
"We were going to call ourselves "Gloriously Affordable Lovely Mother Homeland Security" to dramatize our advantage over the plain old Department of Homeland Security," exclaimed an HSS spokesperson who declined to be identified. "But then somebody suggested "Hamland Security Systems," which sounded all bluff and buff and Men in Black Tahoes and everything, only with ham radio, so we went with that."
HSS claims to have purchased the Woodpecker Blanker for just five dollars last summer at a local hamfest. To counter the growing strategic threat in the South China Sea, the group is currently modifying a second Woodpecker Blanker found in the basement of an abandoned S.S. Kresge Five & Dime.
"You couldn't beat Nicholls' patented Ninotchka Filter for blanking Soviet over-the-horizon radar interference," allowed an HSS geek who spoke in a funny voice for the purpose of anonymity. "But that whole Spratley thing is a different kettle of Kung Pao Shrimp. We can't reveal exactly what we're doing, but not for nothing, MSG is the new DSP."
Big Ham Media has its place by gee, but sometimes you want something fresh and off-beat yet professionally written and illustrated to boot. That's the beauty of the K9YA Telegraph eZine. For nothing? Really? RR! Not a penny. Sign up for your free suscription now. In the interest of transparency, K1NSS–yes me, there, I said it–does a fresh cartoon every issue exclusive to the K9YA Telegraph, because you never outgrow your need for ham radio funnies! Sign up now and join the fun.
Baffled Crypto-Bio Boffins Discover NORMAL HAM!
EXCLUSIVE TO DASHTOONS Loch Ness Scotland 12.16.16
Searching for the elusive Loch Ness Monster, a team comprised of the world's most distinguished crypto-biologists has announced their discovery of a mythical creature still more elusive.
"He's a ham all right," exclaimed team leader Dr. Buddy Canasta. "And we have every reason to believe he's the only normal Old Man in the world."
"We've seen his license, his shack, his 100 watt radio and dipole antenna. There were some QSL cards on the wall, a junk box with a few old radio parts, and a small stack of RADCOM back numbers, all the markers."
"Beyond that, his normality was jaw-dropping."
"We encountered him last week in a pub after a very long, very cold, wet, unlucky day out on the loch. No monster. Bupkis. So we head over to the Leaky Haggis for a few pops and there he was, telling somebody at the bar about talking to some guy in Pittsburgh. No big deal. Not like he was the cat's ass or anything, just small plain chat in an unpretentious pub, the kind of place that only serves one color of quinoa, deep-fried with blood sausage accompanied by an Irn-Bru ragù plated on newspaper. Keeps the New Money away."
"We didn't want to scare him off, so we discreetly asked a few patrons if this apparent ham was, you know, normal."
"Johnny? Normal? they said. Aye he's a right bastard! They all said about the same thing. Not a word of weird uttered against the Old Man. Sure, Johnny did a little ham radio, but it wasn't any bigger part of his life than brushing his teeth or admiring a sunset. Spent most of his spare time with the wife and kids. While he enjoyed a real ale or a wee dram now and then and placed a bet every so often, Johnny kept both feet on the ground to the envy of all Loch Ness. And trust me, for the sake of healthy custom, these people keep up a good face with all the loonies parading through town, but they know normal and amongst themselves take every opportunity to cherish it."
QSL design ©2016 N4DSP with permission
RemoteHamRadio is a dogbona fide Dash!Chum and Hudson Valley neighbor. Their Empire State HQ is just down the river from us and RHR has been among our corporate ham graphics clients.
K1NSS is QRV via RHR and we look forward to QSOing with you and many more new, old and yet unmet friends around the world.
If you'd like K1NSS QSL wallpaper, just work us and please drop us an SASE with yours. We're good in QRZ.
We love QSLs madly and enjoy all we receive.
This VKØEK Souvenir Penguin Mug is still waiting patiently for you. Or maybe you already have yours, but what a swell hammy holiday gift to celebrate your DX buddies' ATNO of a lifetime.
Imagine these little rascals waitin' on New One Soup all around your morning coffee or your late night DX-chasing cuppa caffeinated performance enhancer.
Big 15-ounce capacity, with a nice solid feel like all our other Dash!Mugs, these babies hang in for the long haul. Check 'em out now at our easy-peasy CafePress shop. And while you're there, take a gander at all our radio-based fun stuff designed by me, Jeff K1NSS, the joker who draws art for shacks.
Do You Write Ham?
Besides designing QSLs and logos for some of the world's smoothest operators, we illustrate book covers for some of amateur radio's best-known authors, including NO NONSENSE! Study Guide guy Dan Romanchik KB6NU and Ward Silver NØAX.
Our rates are easily affordable even if you're new to publishing, and we'll work with you for a splashy original current look that you'll own outright, no fuss or muss.
What's it like to work up a cover with us? Ask those FB OPs!